Get your own! *** All the pieces *** Yesterday *** Tomorrow ***Who am I?

Saturday, Mar. 08, 2008 - 8:42 p.m.

It's time to spit it all out. Because I never should have swallowed it in the first place. I don't remember getting mood swings when I quit smoking before. Now I get in these moments and what I really need is for someone to hold me and rock me. But there's nobody here.

In my dreams, I am letting go of all of them from my past. One by one. If they are not in my dreams, they will not haunt my waking thoughts. I will be completely free. Because sometimes I feel like I am just faking it. Like claiming pleasure when I'm really in pain. Yep, I've done that. A little too many times.

I am weaker than you will ever know. Because isn't that what life is all about? Pretending that everything is perfect, so that one day it will just become so. Well, it is perfect these days. Really. Except at these moments. When I want to scream. And run. And jump on a plane or bus or into my car, and just go go go go go go go. Far away. Where I can forget these memories that are dragging me back down.

I want to start anew. I will start again. There is always tomorrow. And it always has the potential to be better than today. And new loves can erase the old ones. If I can just find one.

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